The 2014 Name of the Year tournament kicks off today in the quadrants named after Assumption Bulltron, crowned the first-ever Name of the Decade, and Godfrey Sithole, the 1985 Name of the Year champion. The top seed in the latter regional is Dr. Loki Skylizard, a cardiothoracic surgeon from New Jersey. If this name seems artificial, that's because it is: The source who emailed us about him tells us that Loki's parents let him and his sister change their own names around age 8 or 9, resulting in exactly the sort of name you would expect a 9-year-old boy to go with. It stuck. Should name changes be allowed in the Name of the Year tournament? Some people feel as if a great name is a great name, no matter how long it has been legally bound to the man or woman who carries it. Others believe that a great name can only come from birth, that a mother must look her baby boy in the eye and choose to name him Alpacino or Taco or Hitler. To those onomastic truthers, a great name is a lifelong responsibility created by a birth certificate, and cannot be fabricated through an impulsive trip to the courthouse. Name of the Year readers have historically fallen into the first camp. In 2008, they chose Spaceman Africa, who changed his name, as their champion; the High Committee, which selected its own champion from 2007-11, preferred a more traditional choice in Destiny Frankenstein, who did not. That said, the High Committee has been tempted by name changes as well. After all, the Dragonwagon Regional is named after a woman who was born Ellen Zolotow. For this year's tournament, we've tried to make both sides of this argument happy. We passed over several outrageous name changes, such as New York's Godzilla Gorilla Pimp Hunter and Wisconsin's Beezow Doo-doo Zoppity-Bop-Bop, but we took a shine to Loki. He stuck with his childhood decision all the way through med school, keeps it to this day, and has caused thousands of patients to hear the terrifying phrase "Dr. Skylizard will see you now." His is a name change we can get behind, and so we've made him a No. 1 seed. The rest of the field gets the benefit of the doubt. We know all of these names are real, legal names, but we cannot conclusively prove that they are all given names. In any event, now they all have the good doctor Skylizard to contend with. Sithole Regional #1 Dr. Loki Skylizard, a cardiothoracic surgeon, vs. #16 Remco Obertop, vice president of an investment company. #8 Sedan Angry, the appellant in a Florida court case, vs. #9 Sterling Lovelady, a Florida State University offensive lineman (and therefore a national champion!). #5 Wolfgang Grape, author of The Bayeux Tapestry (a book about it, not the tapestry itself), vs. #12 Orion Creamer, a retro-fridge designer. #4 [Name removed at the request of the name-inee] vs. #13 Bibb Strench, a D.C. lawyer. [Update: Matchup is a forfeit awarded to Bibb Strench.] #6 Jazzmar Clax, a UConn Huskies fullback, vs. #11 Ingo Findenegg, a German plankton researcher. #3 Shamus Beaglehole, an English soccer player, vs. #14 Wubbo Ockels, a physicist and TED talker who was also the first Dutchman in space. #7 Ignatius Babbage-Hockey, the young son of a man named Joe Hockey, vs. #10 Diesel Daigle, the young son of former softball star Jennie Finch. #2 Jetsy Extrano, a Venezuelan minor-league baseball player, vs. #15 Jetta Disco, a spokeswoman for the U.S. Coast Guard. Bulltron Regional #1 Curvaceous Bass, a Georgian who passed away in 2011, vs. #16 Denver Beanland, an Australian politician. #8 Mingus Mapps, a political scientist at Brandeis University, vs. #9 Harlene Freezer, a board member of BAFTA in New York whose name evokes the love child of two Batman villains. #5 Chubacca Hung, a Hong Kong resident who utilizes a Backstroke of the West-esque alternate spelling, vs. #12 C'Mon Wingo, a Dallas detective whose name, per our information, is pronounced like "Simone." #4 Dr. Diddo Diddens, a French soft-matter scientist, vs. #13 Che Cockatoo-Collins, an Australian Rules Footballer. #6 Genghis Cohen, a Los Angeles businessman, vs. #11 Erby Ferby, a Memphis man who was accused of stabbing his daughter's boyfriend last year. #3 Bullabeck Ringblong, who is is serving life in prison for murder, vs. #14 Vanthana Xayarath, a Florida woman who heard a ship collide with a bridge, and described it as "just a big old loud crash." #7 Radiance Ham, middle name Monet, who was one of the , vs. #10 DeQuarium Lumpkin, who recently graduated from high school in Tennessee. #2 Bufus Dewberry, a Georgia resident and husband of Alpha, vs. #15 Bernie Wagenblast, one of the voices of the New York City subway. We'll be back tomorrow with the other half of the bracket. Sam Gutelle is a Brooklyn-based blogger who predominantly covers the online video industry for Tubefilter. He has helped run the Name of the Year blog since 2012 despite his relatively boring name. You can follow him on Twitter @gutelle. The Concourse is Deadspin's home for culture/food/whatever coverage. Follow us on Twitter: @DSconcourse Relatedunderdog reviewparlayplay fantasy site reviewsleeper reviewfantasy dabbleowners box reviewfantasy sports on draftkingsplaying fantasy football on fanduelunderdog promosbonus code for parlayplaysleeper promodabble sign up promosowners box sign up offersoffers for draftkings fantasyfanduel fantasy football bonus
Related Posts
Mauricio Pochettino described it as a gift to have Kylian Mbappe after the forward demonstrated his abilities with both goals in Paris Saint-Germain s 2-0 win over Reims.
Mbappe has been the centre of much transfer speculation having apparently told the club he wants to leave. Real Madrid are seemingly the only runner in the race to sign a player who is in the final year of his current contract at PSG.
There was no questioning his commitment to his current employers on Sunday, though, as the 22-year-old scored twice at Stade Auguste Delaune, in the process overshadowing a debut appearance off the bench for new recruit Lionel Messi.
Madrid have reportedly had two bids rejected for Mbappe, with sporting director Leonardo making clear PSG hope he stays in the Fre…
According to a recent report over in Italy, Ivan Perisic is still a major target for Tottenham Hotspur this summer. The next few months are set to be incredibly interesting for Spurs fans, as the club begins to start a new era in their new stadium. With that new stadium will come a brand new look for the team, with many fans expecting some big alterations in the squad during the summer transfer window. One of those changes could see World Cup star Ivan Perisic arrive in North London, after months of speculation over his future.
The Inter Milan midfielder could well be available for £30 million, which many fans will see as a bargain when taking the inflation rates of modern day football into consideration.
Perisic has been with Inter since back in 2015 when he joined fr…
A team bus carrying the players and officials of Asante Kotoko, the most successful club in Ghana s Premier League, has been involved in a serious accident.
One death and multiple injuries have been reported from the incident on Wednesday, which took place as Asante Kokoto travelled back from their 1-0 loss to Inter Allies in Accra.
The club confirmed on Twitter that the bus collided with a stationary vehicle and that personnel on the bus are generally fine .
However, some of those involved have been transported for treatment at the Holy Family Hospital in Nkawkaw.
The accident occurred around 9:45pm at Nkawkaw, when our bus ran into a stationary vehicle.
— Asante Kotoko SC (@AsanteKotoko_SC)
Personnel on the bus are generally fine. Som…
Kylian Mbappe scored a hat-trick and Neymar made his return from a three-month injury lay-off as Paris Saint-Germain began their Ligue 1 title celebrations with a 3-1 win over visitors Monaco on Sunday.
PSG were already confirmed as champions earlier in the day after second-placed Lille could only draw 0-0 with Toulouse, and Thomas Tuchel s men subsequently played with freedom in an emphatic triumph inspired by Mbappe against his old club.
The lethal Mbappe took only 15 minutes to make his mark at the end of a stunning counter-attack and he doubled his tally just before half-time, rounding off another well-worked move.
Neymar – fit again after breaking his foot in January – came on at the interval to a huge cheer, before Mbappe completed his treble in the …
Wilfried Zaha described his time at Manchester United as hell and slammed the club for failing to offer him adequate support as a young player.
The Ivorian forward arrived at United from Crystal Palace for a reported £10million in June 2013 but played just 28 minutes of Premier League football for the Red Devils before being temporarily sent to Cardiff City.
Zaha returned to Selhurst Park on loan in August 2014 and made a permanent switch to the Eagles in February 2015, bringing end to his association with a club he says never gave him a chance.
Obviously, getting to United isn t easy, so not being given a chance is hard to take, the winger told The Sun.
I went through so much with United, with England. There were rumours that the reason I wasn t play…
Eden Hazard has consistently been one of the Premier League s best players since he joined from Lille in 2012, but he has seemingly found another level following Maurizio Sarri s appointment.
Hazard s start to the 2018-19 season has been truly exceptional, with the Belgium international scoring seven times in eight Premier League games ahead of the visit of Manchester United and former coach Jose Mourinho this weekend.
Sarri s appointment as coach was always highlighted as a potential boost to Chelsea s attackers following more the more pragmatic approaches of Antonio Conte and Mourinho.
It was under the latter that Hazard enjoyed two of his best seasons at Chelsea, but Sarri seems to have transformed him into a player capable of challenging for the Ballon d Or.<…
David Henderson, the organiser of the flight responsible for the deaths of Emiliano Sala and David Ibbotson, has been sentenced to 18 months imprisonment.
Henderson, 67, was last month found guilty of endangering the safety of an aircraft.
Sala was on his way to Cardiff City on January 21, 2019, after signing from Ligue 1 club Nantes for £15million (€20m) when his plane came down over the English Channel, killing the striker, 28, and the pilot, Ibbotson, 59.
The court was previously told Henderson arranged the flight with football agent William McKay and asked Mr Ibbotson to fly the plane as he was in Paris on holiday.
Mr Ibbotson – who did not hold a commercial pilot s licence – was not qualified to fly at night and his rating to fly the single-en…
Australia were forced to settle for a point in their World Cup qualifier against China after a 1-1 draw in the UAE.
After winning 11 games in a row, including a 3-0 victory against China in the reverse fixture in September, the Socceroos are now winless in three – their worst such run since June 2018.
Australia led in this match, though, following a quiet start, as Martin Boyle s cross was headed in emphatically by Mitch Duke seven minutes before the break.
Despite creating little for the first hour, China were level on 70 minutes when James Jeggo was adjudged by a VAR review to have handled in the penalty area, allowing Wu Lei to send Mat Ryan the wrong way from the spot.
Both sides pushed for a winner in the closing stages, but neither came …
According to a recent report from AS, Ivan Rakitic will not be leaving Barcelona during the summer transfer window as many had initially though. The Croatian midfielder is believed to be a big target for Manchester United, although Ernesto Valverde is incredibly eager to keep him on the books at the Nou Camp. Rakitic has been with Barca since back in 2014 when he joined from fellow La Liga club Sevilla, where he had spent the previous three years of his career. At the age of 31 he seems to be moving into the prime of his career, both with club and country.
Barcelona are currently on a great run of form in all competitions, with many tipping them as the favourites to win the UEFA Champions League this season.
Rakitic has been a huge part of that midfield consistency in L…
Vinicius Junior insisted he wants to stay with Real Madrid when asked to put a price tag on his potential worth amid an excellent run of form.
The Brazil international is into his fourth season with LaLiga s leaders and has formed a fruitful partnership with Karim Benzema this campaign to put Madrid eight points clear after 16 games.
The pair rank as the joint-best attacking duo across Europe s top five leagues this term with 22 goals between them, the same amount as Bayern Munich s Robert Lewandowski and Serge Gnabry combined.
Indeed, Vinicius has netted 10 times in 16 top-flight appearances so far, becoming the first player born in 2000 or later to reach double figures for goals in a single LaLiga season.
The former Flamengo attacker was asked to valu…