The 2014 Name of the Year tournament kicks off today in the quadrants named after Assumption Bulltron, crowned the first-ever Name of the Decade, and Godfrey Sithole, the 1985 Name of the Year champion. The top seed in the latter regional is Dr. Loki Skylizard, a cardiothoracic surgeon from New Jersey. If this name seems artificial, that's because it is: The source who emailed us about him tells us that Loki's parents let him and his sister change their own names around age 8 or 9, resulting in exactly the sort of name you would expect a 9-year-old boy to go with. It stuck. Should name changes be allowed in the Name of the Year tournament? Some people feel as if a great name is a great name, no matter how long it has been legally bound to the man or woman who carries it. Others believe that a great name can only come from birth, that a mother must look her baby boy in the eye and choose to name him Alpacino or Taco or Hitler. To those onomastic truthers, a great name is a lifelong responsibility created by a birth certificate, and cannot be fabricated through an impulsive trip to the courthouse. Name of the Year readers have historically fallen into the first camp. In 2008, they chose Spaceman Africa, who changed his name, as their champion; the High Committee, which selected its own champion from 2007-11, preferred a more traditional choice in Destiny Frankenstein, who did not. That said, the High Committee has been tempted by name changes as well. After all, the Dragonwagon Regional is named after a woman who was born Ellen Zolotow. For this year's tournament, we've tried to make both sides of this argument happy. We passed over several outrageous name changes, such as New York's Godzilla Gorilla Pimp Hunter and Wisconsin's Beezow Doo-doo Zoppity-Bop-Bop, but we took a shine to Loki. He stuck with his childhood decision all the way through med school, keeps it to this day, and has caused thousands of patients to hear the terrifying phrase "Dr. Skylizard will see you now." His is a name change we can get behind, and so we've made him a No. 1 seed. The rest of the field gets the benefit of the doubt. We know all of these names are real, legal names, but we cannot conclusively prove that they are all given names. In any event, now they all have the good doctor Skylizard to contend with. Sithole Regional #1 Dr. Loki Skylizard, a cardiothoracic surgeon, vs. #16 Remco Obertop, vice president of an investment company. #8 Sedan Angry, the appellant in a Florida court case, vs. #9 Sterling Lovelady, a Florida State University offensive lineman (and therefore a national champion!). #5 Wolfgang Grape, author of The Bayeux Tapestry (a book about it, not the tapestry itself), vs. #12 Orion Creamer, a retro-fridge designer. #4 [Name removed at the request of the name-inee] vs. #13 Bibb Strench, a D.C. lawyer. [Update: Matchup is a forfeit awarded to Bibb Strench.] #6 Jazzmar Clax, a UConn Huskies fullback, vs. #11 Ingo Findenegg, a German plankton researcher. #3 Shamus Beaglehole, an English soccer player, vs. #14 Wubbo Ockels, a physicist and TED talker who was also the first Dutchman in space. #7 Ignatius Babbage-Hockey, the young son of a man named Joe Hockey, vs. #10 Diesel Daigle, the young son of former softball star Jennie Finch. #2 Jetsy Extrano, a Venezuelan minor-league baseball player, vs. #15 Jetta Disco, a spokeswoman for the U.S. Coast Guard. Bulltron Regional #1 Curvaceous Bass, a Georgian who passed away in 2011, vs. #16 Denver Beanland, an Australian politician. #8 Mingus Mapps, a political scientist at Brandeis University, vs. #9 Harlene Freezer, a board member of BAFTA in New York whose name evokes the love child of two Batman villains. #5 Chubacca Hung, a Hong Kong resident who utilizes a Backstroke of the West-esque alternate spelling, vs. #12 C'Mon Wingo, a Dallas detective whose name, per our information, is pronounced like "Simone." #4 Dr. Diddo Diddens, a French soft-matter scientist, vs. #13 Che Cockatoo-Collins, an Australian Rules Footballer. #6 Genghis Cohen, a Los Angeles businessman, vs. #11 Erby Ferby, a Memphis man who was accused of stabbing his daughter's boyfriend last year. #3 Bullabeck Ringblong, who is is serving life in prison for murder, vs. #14 Vanthana Xayarath, a Florida woman who heard a ship collide with a bridge, and described it as "just a big old loud crash." #7 Radiance Ham, middle name Monet, who was one of the , vs. #10 DeQuarium Lumpkin, who recently graduated from high school in Tennessee. #2 Bufus Dewberry, a Georgia resident and husband of Alpha, vs. #15 Bernie Wagenblast, one of the voices of the New York City subway. We'll be back tomorrow with the other half of the bracket. Sam Gutelle is a Brooklyn-based blogger who predominantly covers the online video industry for Tubefilter. He has helped run the Name of the Year blog since 2012 despite his relatively boring name. You can follow him on Twitter @gutelle. The Concourse is Deadspin's home for culture/food/whatever coverage. Follow us on Twitter: @DSconcourse Relatedunderdog reviewparlayplay fantasy site reviewsleeper reviewfantasy dabbleowners box reviewfantasy sports on draftkingsplaying fantasy football on fanduelunderdog promosbonus code for parlayplaysleeper promodabble sign up promosowners box sign up offersoffers for draftkings fantasyfanduel fantasy football bonus
Related Posts
David Moyes had come to see me and the contract had basically been done but then Moyes was fired and Louis van Gaal came in, which complicated matters, Kroos told
Louis wanted time to build his own project. I didn t hear anything from United for a while and started having doubts. Then the World Cup started and Carlo Ancelotti called. And that was it.
Those are the words of Real Madrid midfielder Toni Kroos who made it clear during a recent interview that he was close to joining Manchester United back in 2014 prior to the World Cup. David Moyes had initially revealed that information back in 2018, and it turns out that it was true.
To this day Kroos is still one of the most highly thought of midfielders in world football but at this stage of his career,…
Rangers cut the gap to leaders Celtic down to two points in the Scottish Premiership thanks to a 2-1 victory at their Old Firm rivals on Sunday, despite another red card for Alfredo Morelos.
Nikola Katic s 56th-minute header secured Rangers their first league triumph at Celtic Park in 10 attempts, raising hopes for Steven Gerrard s squad they may finally be able to end Celtic s long run of dominance in the top flight.
While the reigning champions remain at the summit, their Glasgow neighbours have a game in hand as they bid to lift the title for the first time since 2010-11.
The only setback for Gerrard was the late dismissal of Morelos, who was sent off for the seventh time in his Rangers career after picking up a second booking for diving during added tim…
Best Odds: 4/7
Bookmaker:
Desperate to widen their buffer at the top of the Premier League table on Wednesday night, Liverpool will welcome Chelsea to Anfield.
Liverpool
Starting with the hosts, with fans around Anfield left heartbroken over the weekend as Jurgen Klopp announced that he will be ending his nine-year stint on Merseyside, Liverpool will be desperate to sign off the 56-year-old’s story with another Premier League crown. Extending on their FA Cup adventure over the weekend as they secured an action-packed 5-2 victory against Championship outfit Norwich, the one-time Borussia Dortmund boss is looking to make more history this year. Marking their return to top-flight action holding a five-point buffer at the top of the table, Liverpool have suffered…
Managing to extend on their Olympic Games adventure with a nail-biting penalties victory on Tuesday morning, Brazil know that they re now just a single win from making it back-to-back gold medals.
While many neutrals might have expected a thriller affair between this summer s top scorers and the defending champions, we instead witnessed what was an incredibly uninspiring showdown at an empty Kashima Soccer Stadium.
Just about managing to drag themselves over the finish line against what was a sluggish Mexico side, we have taken a look at what the major talking points were as the Seleção move one step closer to making Olympic history.
Brazil sneak their way to the final
Opening up this summer s delayed tournament with a thumping 4-2 win against 2016 silver med…
Atletico Madrid have confirmed Koke suffered a grade one thigh injury in Saturday s 3-0 win at Huesca.
Diego Simeone s squad has been ravaged by injuries this season and Koke was the latest to find himself with a problem on Saturday.
The midfielder scored Atletico s final goal in the 71st minute, but was forced off soon after.
Atletico are already missing Saul Niguez, Diego Costa, Filipe Luis, Stefan Savic, Gelson Martins, Vitolo and Nikola Kalinic.
| INJURY UPDATE suffers grade I muscle injury to the right thigh. He is pending clinical evolution.
— Atletico de Madrid (@atletienglish)
However, Koke is not expected to be out for long, as Atletico confirmed he has only suffered a grade one strain.
He is unlikely to be risked…
Liverpool’s 2022 Carabao Cup final hero Caoimhin Kelleher will be more than happy to stay out of the limelight at Wembley.
The Republic of Ireland international scored what turned out to be the winning spot-kick after a goalless final against Sunday’s opponents Chelsea in an epic shoot-out which finished 11-10 when Kelleher’s opposite number Kepa Arrizabalaga blazed over, the only failure from either side.
It was fitting for the Irishman, who has been Liverpool’s League Cup goalkeeper for the last few seasons, but he would prefer a quieter afternoon this time around.
Man like Kelleher
— Liverpool FC (@LFC)
“To be fair, I was just in the moment. I didn’t even realise it was my go and I looked at the lads and they were pointing at me…
Javier Pastore believes Champions League finalists Paris Saint-Germain will approach future seasons with new levels of confidence because they have reached the ultimate level .
PSG face Bayern Munich in Lisbon on Sunday in their first ever Champions League title match.
The Ligue 1 giants overturned deficits to knock out Borussia Dortmund and Atalanta before easing past RB Leipzig in the last four.
Roma midfielder Pastore, who represented PSG for seven seasons following Qatar Sports Investments 2011 takeover, is confident the club s repeated disappointments in the knockout stages of Europe s elite competition are behind them.
And even if favourites Bayern prove too strong for Neymar and co, Pastore believes the club as a whole will take great confidence fr…
Kalidou Koulibaly is the best centre-back in the world and is worth €150million, according to Napoli head coach Carlo Ancelotti.
The 27-year-old has been at the Stadio San Paolo since signing from Genk in 2014, developing a reputation as one of Serie A s top defenders.
Senegal international Koulibaly has been linked with a move to Manchester United but Ancelotti warned off potential suitors.
The best centre-back in the world? I would say so, he told Tuttosport. And he can still improve. He is worth €150m and he is not available for transfer.
Koulibaly’s contract expires in 2023, in 2021 there s a €150m clause but Napoli do not need to sell, the president [Aurelio De Laurentiis] does not want to sell and the question doesn t come up.
Nap…
In this tutorial, I will show you how to bet on Odd/Even goals in football. What does odd/even mean in betting? How do you place an odd/even football bet? These are just a few topics discussed in this article.
What is an odd/even bet?
An odd/even bet is a wager placed by punters who predict the total number of goals during regular playtime using an odd or even selection.
Odd and even numbers can be described as follows:
Odds are numbers that divided by 2 will return a fractional number (2,5 or 3,25 etc)
Evens are numbers that after being divided by 2 will result in another whole number (2; 4; 6 etc)
Since in football betting can only be whole numbers, an odd/even bet can also be seen as flipping a coin, which is the basis of many
Example of odd/even fo…
It wasn t so long ago that voicing the idea of Juventus challenging for the Scudetto this season would have seen you laughed out of the room.
Yet, remarkably, they could potentially end the weekend just four points off the summit, and a victory over defending champions Inter would be a decent barometer of just how emphatic their late push is going to be.
Serie A s standout match this week is undoubtedly the Derby d Italia between Juve and Inter in Turin, with Italy s top flight essentially establishing a pretty firm top four ahead of the international break.
But Massimiliano Allegri s Juve surely won t be content with just settling for fourth spot, and a win on Sunday will show they mean business.
A bedrock for improvement
Even if Juve do end up w…