Believe in fun, believe in the Diamondbacks

There was always hope that a young, funky team would finally not just get the best of the Dodgers, but signal the end of the now decade long run of the Dodgers running roughshod over the NL West. Yes, the Giants got them once, in a season where the Dodgers still won 106 games. And we know what happened in the first round. We just assumed it would be the expensive collection of kids in San Diego. Turns out, it might be the less expensive collection of even younger kids in Phoenix? The Diamondbacks are 29-20, which gives them the third-best record in the National League and only a game, and a half behind the Dodgers in the West. While the D-Backs were expected to be improved and interesting, even by the ugliest and most bewildered writers, contention has come early for the Snakes. So yo…

A Massive, Disturbing Look Inside A Marvel Superfan's Crumbling Mind In The Final Hours Before Avengers: Endgame

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s here. Again. And I cannot hold my shit together. Again. A year after Marvel Studios’ hugely popular and perfectly perfect blockbuster Infinity War dusted half the universe to hell, or some alternate dimension, the finale has arrived. Avengers: Endgame purports to bring about closure to the 22-movie saga, and on Thursday night, I’ll line up with a half-dozen other psychos two hours before I sit down to watch a three-hour film, because I am stubborn and refuse to go to any movie theater other than my tried-and-true, old-timey cinema that doesn’t let you reserve seats. All I can do at that point is pray that my bladder has the wherewithal to hold up in line until 10 p.m. and hope that the Russo Bros. don’t fuck this all up. To be perfectly clear, this …

Your 2017 NBA Trade Deadline Roundup

The NBA trade deadline came and went, and as is tradition, we are here to break down all the big moves that went down. Tom Ley: There are no big moves to break down because all the teams who were supposed to make interesting trades just spent two days dry-humping. A few mostly lame players got traded, I think. Albert Burneko: The trade deadline can eat my butt. This is the second straight one that was bullshit. If I read another tweet about “ advanced discussions” between two teams I am going to cleave my own head in half with a broadsword. …

2014 Name Of The Year: Bulltron And Sithole Regionals, Round 1

The 2014 Name of the Year tournament kicks off today in the quadrants named after Assumption Bulltron, crowned the first-ever Name of the Decade, and Godfrey Sithole, the 1985 Name of the Year champion. The top seed in the latter regional is Dr. Loki Skylizard, a cardiothoracic surgeon from New Jersey. If this name seems artificial, that's because it is: The source who emailed us about him tells us that Loki's parents let him and his sister change their own names around age 8 or 9, resulting in exactly the sort of name you would expect a 9-year-old boy to go with. It stuck. Should name changes be allowed in the Name of the Year tournament? Some people feel as if a great name is a great name, no matter how long it has been legally bound to the man or woman who carries it. O…

Your 2009 Detroit Lions Are Matthew Stafford And Ten Other Guys

The tension building around the first overall pick has been punctured with anonymous sources for, I think, the 312th straight year. We know that Matthew "Matt" Stafford will be the Lions' guy. And it won't cost them much. Just $72 million. (Oh, but it won't be that much. Don't worry!) Rumor has it that the Lions took Stafford because his scouting report said that his name could be re-arranged to spell "Ford Farts," which is too hilarious not too draft him, despite naysayers who project that Stafford doesn't have two "R"s in his last name. Lions general manager Martin Mayhew would likely call those reports "pessimistic" and "without merrit." In all reality, nobody's going to give Mayhew a pass because he …

At Last, Some Attention For Water Polo

I don't feel like we have enough stories here on Deadspin that feature high school boys having their clothes confiscated by school administrators. Today, I seek to right this wrong. Meet the San Pasqual High School varsity water polo team. It was "Jersey Night" at a school football game; a night where members of other fall sports teams were honored and recognized in front of the crowd. The Water Polo team, understandably, was looking for a little bit of attention. They decided to show up and take their bows in their Speedos. Just their Speedos. School administrators were very uncomfortable with the display, because it's 1924, I guess, and forced the boys to forfeit an upcoming match against Patrick Henry (who would have loved the defiance) High School. My favorite …

Three Trade Destinations For Pistons Center Andre Drummond

data-mm-id=”_2da8cr55b”>The Detroit Pistons went all-in when they traded for Blake Griffin in February of 2018. Just under two years later, nothing has gone right. Griffin had a career year in 2018-19, but his body failed him as the playoffs approached and Detroit was swept by Milwaukee in the first round. Three months into the 2019-20 season, things haven't gotten much better; the Pistons sit at 12-23 on the season while Griffin struggles with injuries, and the path forward for the team is murky. Former top-10 pick Andre Drummond has been a consistent contributor over that timespan, but doesn't have the skillset required to win the team games on his own. He also has a $28 million player option at the end of this season that he seems likely to decline in order to test the fre…

MLB Rumors: Latest on Francisco Lindor, Nolan Arenado Trades and More

data-mm-id=”_je5btgjnv”>Major League Baseball's hot stove is still simmering. Here are all the latest MLB rumors, including a few big-name guys who could be traded. Indians want final Francisco Lindor trade proposalsKen Rosenthal is reporting the Cleveland Indians want to bring the Francisco Lindor trade saga to a quick end. The Indians have asked for every team's best and final offer, and they will "make an assessment over the weekend." The Reds, Dodgers and Padres are all known to be in pursuit of the All-Star shortstop. The Indians are likely just assessing if they'll get enough to move Lindor this winter. If they don't like the offers presented, then can then just move forward planning to have him around in 2020. They clearly want to get this sorted ou…

Tom Brady Did Not Have Dinner in Tampa Bay With Derek Jeter, Bill Gates, and Jeff Vinik

data-mm-id=”_1c2g7fz5t”>Tom Brady told the world Tuesday morning that he would not be returning to the New England Patriots. By the time dinner rolled around, word had gotten out that the 43-year-old would be moving south for the next stage of his career and planned to sign with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. That same evening, NFL RedZone host Scott Hanson said that a source had told him Brady had dinner in Tampa over the weekend with Derek Jeter, Bill Gates, and Jeff Vinik, owner of the Tampa Bay Lightening, in a since-deleted tweet. After reporting it, Hanson had two other sources deny that it happened, but his original source stood by the story. Two sources have now *denied* that Brady was @bernssteakhouse Sunday night. My original source stands by his story. Have reached out to som…

One Big Issue With Fourth-and-15 Rule Proposal

data-mm-id=”_jldhwg4go”>The NFL is considering a new rule allowing teams to elect to try and convert a fourth-and-15 play from their own 25-yard-line instead of kicking off. It's an interesting idea that, in theory, could keep trailing teams in the game for a longer period of time, allowing them to score and then try and retain possession with a higher probability of success than an onside kick. The only issue is, it could also be used against those trailing teams. This rule was previously discussed and included a clause that only trailing teams could utilize this opportunity. However, the new rule doesn't have that language in it. Here’s the updated language of the proposed rule change on an alternative to the onside kick – and it *doesn’t* specify that a team must be …